Friday, October 2, 2009

sick days

I think the thing i find hardest is being sick--this coming from somebody who took a record amount of sick days fromink I am still technically on sick leave from work when I was working as a flight attendant, a job that I that still considers me on sick leave after over a year of not being allowed to return to work--yes, I find being sick, I mean really sick, like can't lift your head cause you hurt so bad sick, is probably one of the hardest things I have to deal with--even harder than dealing with 5 kids under the age of 3.

so the last few days I have had to throw in the towel, because on top of being congested and the usual body aches that come with a cold I have noticed severe pain from less than mild exercise, as well as back pain after hurting my back--now with all that pain and the point that I have Neurocardiogenic syncope (a condition that causes me to pas out when my heart is under severe stress) has left me unable to do my normal daily activities, I have been at home stuck in bed wishing, just wishing I could muster up the strength to vacuum the front room and hall and stand long enough to do the dishes, I finally have a good reason to lay around and do nothing and yet I am irritated beyond believe that I'm not doing anything productive.

why is it that I can't help thinking about all the people I am letting down, all the things I could be doing to help others out if only I wasn't sick just keeps consuming my every thought--and yet I am now forced to take sick leave while I am on sick leave, which makes me wonder just where my obsession with helping everybody out came from.

all my childhood my mom made it a point to teach my siblings and me good work ethics, but at what point did good work ethics turn into an unhealthy obsession with pleasing everyone? Was it the day my mom's mini van got stuck in the snow and my mom walked to visit all her home health patients, including the ones who lived out of town (granted we lived in a small town, but there was one patient that lived about 15 miles from our house, and just imagine the weight of her nursing bag that she had to take with her), I always accredited that day as the best lesson my mom could teach me, but today I wonder was my mom over obsessed, too? Did my mom not teach us when it was OK to say "NO!" because my mom herself didn't know just how to tell her employer she just couldn't do it?

either way, before I get to thinking too deep I just wanted to let ya'll know i am sorry i haven't been posting lately but unfortunately I have been too busy trying to avoid the point that I am sick and currently unable to keep up with my daily activities, but one day (hopefully very soon) life will return to normal and i will return to my regular routines, which include daily blogs

1 comment:

  1. Maybe your blog would suck less if you learned how to spell and stopped substituting commas for periods. Just a thought.

    ReplyDelete

About Us

Tyler, Texas, United States
We dated in High School off and on, and despite all the on again off agains of our relationship we "ran" to Vegas and were married May 10th, 2003 in a Vegas Wedding Chapel shortly after my niece Cathrine was baptized. We were later sealed Dec. 27, 2005 in the Salt Lake City Temple, that was our family Christmas present. We Had our loving son Dec. 15, 2004 (he came a month early but was pretty much perfectly fine). We moved from Salt Lake City, UT on 6/6/06 and arrived in Tyler, TX 3 long days later and have decided to stay put