~~*~~Friends~~*~~

OK, so I just want to point out just how much I have thought about friends lately, about past, about current friends, about my friends I have lost touch with, about friends that turned out not to really be a friend, about friends I have moved away from, about friends that moved away from me, about busy friends, about friends I have lost because I was too busy, about work friends, and school friends, about church friends and about friends I thought were gone for ever only to discover they weren't that far gone after all.

yes, lately I have been thinking about friends, so it was a very pleasant surprise when I made my way into relief society yesterday (for the first time in what seems like months) to discover that the lesson was on friendships. I have been going through a lot lately and I have definitely realized just how important friends are, I have also realized how easy it is to think someone is your friend only to discover they were just using you for their own self gain. I have also learned that sometimes you might have friends and not even know it, that maybe that person you thought was just an acquaintance of yours turns out to be the best friend you have ever had.

I remember when I was a young child I had those friends I spent every day with, and others that didn't live so close but still enjoyed spending time with, I remember rushing to get chores done and homework done so I could enjoy time spent with them, I remember studying together and doing projects as a team--I remember when my life revolved around my friendships, building them, strengthening them, and enjoying them, and yet about 15 yrs later I haven't even spoken to those friends I thought I would "just die if I don't get to go to their house today" because as time grew our priorities changed, some moved away, others grew apart, some wanted different things from life and others just realized the only difference they wanted was not to be my friend, and then there were a few that I evaluated our realationship and realized it wasn't what I wanted in a friendship.

As we grew older we realized we expected different things from life, some of my friends decided they didn't want anything to do with my religion or anybody that had anything to do with it, which broke my heart as I slowly watched them take up drinking, then smoking, then drugs, somethings the order that their values changed varied, but needless to say, as their values changed so did the time they spent with me, but honestly it wasn't because I wanted it to change, just eventually I got the hint when they quit returning my calls, my messages, my e-mails, when they avoided me at school, and then later they just seemed to vanish into oblivion. I find it amazing that some one I shared my hopes and dreams with could just vanish into thin air, as if they never existed in the first place--I also find it peculiar that friends I grew up and swore we would never grow apart would just start ignoring me because I wasn't in the "hip" crowd--but the truth is, that those friends turned out not to be friends at all.

And then there are those friends who have found me despite the miles between us, I still think about the time I got a call from a long lost friend, she finally remembered my old phone number and called my parents to get my current phone number--Luckily my mom has refused to move since i was born, which my friend pointed out was the only reason she was able to find me. I also think about a friend that moved away when we were just little girls, only to find out that her and I lived not too far from each other as adults and actually belonged to the same internet site for a while before discovering who she really was. Granted we don't have spend the same time together as we did as youth and now that I have moved to Texas it makes it hard to go over for a play date, but it is still fun to visit online and reminisce about the good old days.

I also think about people I came to know through work, and through church, and through other people, people I just thought would be business associates, or someone great to babysit and later discovered were some of the best friends I have ever had, some it seems are more like family than just friends and even though I don't always have the time I need to improve our relationship, I wanted to let them all know that I do think of you often and am glad they are still willing to be apart of my life.

P.S. Jenny if you are still reading, i do hope your surgery went well today